What if She...?

What if she watches Wheel of Fortune?
What if she watches The Price is Right?
Or loves The Housewives of Bimbo County,
Or dials up Judge Judy every night?

What if she watches Law and Order
For all the blood and gore she can get,
Or NYPD Blue is a must?
What if she watches The Bachelorette?!

What if she’s always lunching with girl friends
Leaving you totally out of the loop?
What if she owns two cocker spaniels,
And you have to walk ‘em and pick up the poop?

What if she drives a Subaru Outback
And talks you into driving one too,
And you didn’t know it’s a lesbian ride,
But everyone else does. Now what do you do?

These are the jokes in a family I know of.
He’s just a remarkable guy,
But these nasty stones in his marriage bed
Would make Baby Jesus cry!

But you never hear him complain or whimper.
He never utters a discouraging word.
He just smiles and says, “LOVE conquers all.”
It’s the strangest damn story I’VE ever heard!