SEAN CONNERY

“Hey, did you know Sean Connery was a wife-beater?” said Wifey reading his obit at breakfast today.

“Sexiest Man Alive though,” says I, having read it first.

“So spousal abuse is OK with you?”

“No, no, Sweetie! No hitting, no hitting! How could he justify such a thing? Terrible!”

“He told Barbara Walters ‘Sometimes women just won’t leave things alone.’ “

“Well, he has a point there, of course.”

“WHAT? So if a wife insists on her opinion, you can slap her around?”

“No, No! No hitting! ... just sometimes leave it alone, OK.”

“You’re justifying violence when the debate goes against you then?”

No, no! No violence! It’s just that sometimes we argue the loudest what is most in doubt. Just leave it alone.”

“That’s the Trump strategy. If you disagree with me, I’ll call the Boogaloo Boys on you.”

“You’re not going to leave this alone, are you Sweetie.”