Camber, Caster, and Toe

Momma Wheelwright named her triplets
Camber, Caster, and Toe.
The year was nineteen hundred ten;
That’s all we need to know.

This song is for the misfits;
We all know one or two.
For them life is a struggle;
Perhaps it’s one for you.

Poor Camber grew up crooked,
Just never quite aligned,
And Caster was a little slow
And always lagged behind.

Toe was pigeon-footed.
His feet went clop-clop-clop
And pointed inward... so usually
He just ground to a stop.

A more pathetic threesome
Never caused their momma woe
Than those silly Wheelwright triplets,
Camber, Caster, and Toe.

The Wheelwrights lived in Michigan,
Near Ford’s assembly plant.
Can I tell you why they lived there...
Other than chance?   I can’t.

‘Twas the age of motor travel.
Henry Ford’s Model-T
Was making horseless carriage news,
And Ford.. rich as could be.

He couldn’t make cars fast enough,
But there was one fatal glitch.
When those Model-Ts got rolling,
They kept going in the ditch.

There was something in the steering
When they reached a certain speed
That made them yaw and veer and pull...
A dangerous flaw indeed.

It threatened Henry’s empire
As the toll of crashes grew,
And his engineers couldn’t tell him
What Henry Ford should do.

Then one day, quite by accident,
Henry met the Wheelwright boys
As he turned to see just what could be
That strange clop-clopping noise.

He saw them coming toward him
And was puzzled at the sight,
As they veered and yawed and clopped and stopped
And pulled to left and right.

“Three dim bulbs,” thought Henry
As he moved to let them by,
But then a bright idea bulb
Lit up in Henry’s eye.

“Boys, boys, come with me!” he cried,
“We can’t waste any time!”
And he shoved them in his Model-T
And gave them each a dime.

He rushed them to his factory
And called his engineers.
“Watch how this one lags,” he said,
“And this one yaws and veers.”

“I think our Model-T front wheels
Should all be redesigned,
Slightly canted to the rear,
Toed-in, and misaligned.”

His engineers thought Henry
Had finally lost a screw,
But when they did as Henry bid,
His cars ran straight and true!

The rest is history, as they say.
Ford became a billionaire.
And he didn’t stiff the Wheelwrights;
He gave them each a share.

They had saved the auto industry
By being slightly odd,
Which in the Grand Creation
Seems a feature planned by God.

Yes, God has a role for misfits,
Though sometimes it’s hard to know.
So bless those Wheelwright misfit boys,
Camber, Caster, and Toe.