Wise Clarifications

HERACLITUS said, "You can't put your foot in the same river twice." So I put both feet in the river at once and the world stopped dead in its tracks. Kind of like second marriage, I thought.

VIRGINIA WOLFE said, "The writing profession is like sex. First you do it for love, then for friends, then for money." I wrote a love pome to Wifey, because she's my best friend… and she gave me a dollar.

ANTON CHECKOV said, "Any idiot can face a crisis; it's this day to day living that wears you out." "You’re very good in a crisis," said Wifey.

W.H. AUDEN said, "We're here on Earth to help others; what others are here for, I've no idea." "Let me help you with that?" says Wifey.

HERB CAEN said, "Breasts are like martinis: one is not enough and three are too many." Wifey wouldn't reveal herself till I stopped drinking.

SOMEONE said, "DOUBT is the human condition, FAITH its comfort, not its cure." And married men are said to live longer… a comfort, not… (never mind).

CAIUS CASSIUS said, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in our wives that we are underlings." Or that may have been "selves."

YOGI BERRA said, "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?" Yeah, like Heraclitus and second marriage... but it’s not that easy to change bats, is it?

FOREST GUMP said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." Yeah, like Heraclitus.

CHARLES DICKENS said, "It is far, far better thing I do than I have ever done." Ditto Heraclitus. Jusskidding Sweetie. LuvYa.