I gave Wifey a nice V-Day card with flowers and "I Love You" written in it.
She gave me a DRIBBLE GLASS. This is a true story. You probably
thought dribble glasses were an old tired joke. They're not. Mine came
wrapped in tissue paper with a nice card from our two dogs. It wasn't a
glass exactly; it was a coffee cup with a blue jay painted on it. I washed it
and filled it with coffee the next morning. When I got to my easy chair
with the news, I found coffee dripping on my shirt. Thinking I had slopped
it over, I set the cup on the table and went for a paper towel. When I got
back, the table was covered in a puddle of coffee. It wasn't as bad as the
time she cellophaned my toilet, but it hurt anyway. When I asked her
about it, she went philosophical on me. "Men think they're magnificent,"
she said. "Their main project in life is to discover they're not. Wives are
here to help with this." It hurt anyway.