THE WHOLE BALL OF WAX

The whole ball of wax,
is never whole.
It always attracts
alternative facts
and won’t roll.

Pigskin now
makes a good ball,
horsehide, or various pelts,
but wax is no good at all.
It melts,
and your ball collapses.
That’s all the good wax is.

The whole ball of wax
like the whole nine yards
(where you save a charge
for the whole spool
of cotton or wool)
or the whole shebang,
(a hut or shelter
bought all put together,
for stormy weather),
are items whose worth
waxes and wanes,
and wax seldom retains
its value. “Cuz it’s oily
and stains your doily,”
says my Auntie Macassar
whenever I ask her.
And it’s hard
to buy wax by the yard;
it usually comes in a can --- or can,
or candle wax maybe in stacks
or possibly bricks, or sticks,
but you don’t buy wax in balls.

Whole shebangs, balls, and yards
are mixed metaphors
for word whores
in word wars
(Moi? Nah.)
who hope to wax eloquent,
but it’s just an inelegant
waxy buildup ... like earwax.
(I once rolled my earwax in balls,
but that’s none of your beeswax.)

And, of course, we must thank
Q-ANON, for exposing the wax cabal
of Tom Hanks, Oprah, et al.
who kidnap your kids
rolling them in wax wads
for Madame Toussaud’s
Paraffin Kinderkin Museum
where we can go see ‘em
being quiet. Try it.
Those are Q-ANON facts,
the whole cabal of wax.