MILK MAN

“Who put ‘milk’ on this grocery list?” says Wifey looking at the fridge door where hangs a blank pad in a magnetic clip.

“Well, seeing as you’re lactose intolerable and I’m the only one who drinks milk ... that would be me.”

“But I just went to the market yesterday. Why wasn’t it on the list?”

“Because I didn’t need milk yesterday.”

“If you need milk this morning, you needed it yesterday.”

“The need of the only milk consumer here is best determined by him, isn’t it? It’s my turn to shop next anyway, I’ll get milk before I run out. Stop fretting about milk.”

“It’s lactose intolerant ... not intolerable. The only intolerable one here is YOU!”

“The VOCABULARY CORRECTION LIST is right under the grocery list, Sweetie. Be sure to add that or I’ll forget it. Hey, don’t give me the finger! Where are you going? You’re being INTOLERANT! Come back and get YOUR MORNING HUG, SWEETIE!”