“Did my reading in bed last night keep you awake, Dear?” I asked Wifey at breakfast. “I can’t seem to sleep past one anymore.”

“Well, you go to bed at 7 o’clock. That’s still six hours. Why can’t you sleep?”

“Worry, anxiety, stressors. My system is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol. I’m a nervous wreck.”

“That sounds like something you just read in the morning paper. Remember when you thought you had endometriosis till you found out it was a female thing?”

“Yeah, well I had all the symptoms, frequenturia, pelvic pain, cramps.”

“If you have sleep issues, go see the doctor. I’m sorry you’re stressed. You deserve a normal life.”

“See, part of the problem is the mean things you say. Why do I deserve an animal life? What does that even mean?”

“A normal life! A NORMAL LIFE! Why don’t you join the cycle class at the Y? That’s a way to work off stress.”

“Oh, nice! Why don’t we join the psycho class together? It could be a mutual problem, you know.”

sotto voce: “Jeez, endometriosis of the brain. Wish he’d mentioned his animal life before I married him.”