DEFINITIONS

Home sweet home to Lizzie Borden;
One on one with Michael Jordan.
Famine, pestilence, and war;
Auschwitz, Dachau: ABATTOIR.

Because a pussy cat won’t “sit,” he
Won’t put money in a kitty:
AILUROPHOBE.

An author’s best defense is
Someone to check his tenses.
So never spare expenses
On your AMANUENSIS.

My queen bee was a honey,
But she stung me for my money.
Not very homo-sapiens,
But APIAN.

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
I don’t recall if Romeo went or stayed,
Nocturne if he left, if not: AUBADE.

Trapped in the Kremlin with Ivan the Czar,
Or caught by molesters alone in your car,
Like Dick Tracy cornered at home by The Riddler,
Or having to go on a date with Bette Midler,
Oglers and snitches and
Ogres and witches,
The Riddler,
Bette Midler:
BETE NOIRE.

“’Tis true ‘tis pity and
Pity ‘tis ‘tis true...
Thus it remains, and
The remainder thus.”
A foolish man, Polonius,
A foolish figure: CHIASMUS.

Ketchup on fries,
Beef on a bun,
Clear, blue skies,
A day in the sun,
A night with the guys,
A hole in one,
A word to the wise,
A really good pun,
Reliable data,
DESIDERATA
Wintry blow,
Ten feet of snow,
Thirty below:
DE TROP.

A surface where the roaches run,
A carcass lying in the sun,
An oft repeated phrase or pun,
Like, “Then the terrorists have won.”
FLYBLOWN.

Mad dog,
Fat hog,
Pig swill,
Down hill,
Pure greed,
Stampede,
Mouth mush,
Mad RUSH
LIMBAUGH,
Hee-haw,
Obscene:
GADARENE

I love you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sex Ed. class, ha, ha, ha.
Precautions, la-di-da.
Our teen queen: GRAVIDA.

At every meeting,
A cheerful greeting,
A word to warm,
A tale to charm,
A smile so bright,
GEMUTLICHKEIT

Tyson’s rapes,
Nixon’s tapes,
Medea’s meal,
Achilles’ heel,
Mel Tillis’ stutter,
Jon Daly’s putter,
Captain Ahab’s Moby Dick,
Janet Reno’s nervous tic,
Cassandra’s credibility,
Reagan’s slow senility,
Hamlet’s indecision,
The Spanish inquisition,
Judas’ want of talents,
Wallenda’s sad imbalance,
The flightlessness of rheas,
HAMARTIAS

You sure couldn’t miss her,
Nor could you kiss her.
She was unneckable,
Completely imPECKable.
Her defenses were laid
Like a well built stockade
Intact and integrable,
IMPREGNABLE.